How do you value yourself?

I notice when mentoring or coaching clients that very often we get in our own way of success.This often is due to lack of confidence in our own abilities and self worth.

Today is my birthday and I have to say I look forward to growing another year older and another year wiser. Along side that I hope that I instill confidence in my three daughters as my mum did for me.

You might not be aware but my mum brought up my sister and I on her own as she was widowed at a very early age.

I always remember her telling me that she saw her role as giving us roots so that we were grounded and wings so that when we came of age we had the confidence to fly the nest.

Now with three daughters of a similar age to what my sister and I were when my father died, I am even more aware of the outstanding job she did to manage her grief and give us as normal and well rounded up bringing as any one could.

In fact her leadership and parenting clearly influenced my own leadership style, personal brand and what I stand for.

Back in the 1970's single parent hood was so much rarer - and in fact if you were to become widowed it was often awkward for people to know whether they should invite you to events, how to refer to you and how to treat you.

I can only imagine how challenging she found getting through day by day. Back then the support groups and networks were not as evident. If you are widowed or know someone who has been widowed, and perhaps find your confidence in mixing with others just a step too far, what you may not realise is that there are infact online communitities that you can join providing great advice and support.

One of the communities that I think you will find of benefit if Widow's Quest, a blog authored by by good friend Anna Farmery.

She recently wrote an article about how we value ourselves. Going through loss of a loved one often leaves us in a place where we find out confidence and self worth take a dip. Anna comments that we owe it to ourself to value ourself.

So here are three ideas for how recognise the value in ourselves:

• consider what you are thankful for - what is it that you have as innate strength that has helped you through challenging times
• reflect back - think about the times your good friends and family have come to you for advice and support - what was the great value you have given them over time
• take time out - find a quiet place to meditate and see if you can identify how by your actions and words you have impaced the lives of others around you perhaps in the community you live in, with your family or colleagues.

I know it is difficult to do, however by identifying how you value yourself, I am sure it will give your confidence a boost.

As for what I value about myself, here are three things that I hope to live out every day as I further strengthen my personal brand and grow as a person:

1. I value my ability to see the big picture and connect the dots so I don't get stuck in the past
2. I value my reslience so that I can bounce back from adversity and challenges that I face
3. I value my ability to connect people with selfless abundance - yes sometimes that gets taken advantage of and that truly hurts, however I would rather be over generous connecting others and build a reputation for adding value to others than be seen as unsupportive and unhelpful.

The second and third points in particular I know were influenced by my mother whose actions in these areas were a great role model.

So how do you value yourself?

And by the way this post is dedicated to my mum, Beryl Kendrick De, born 1933 and departed 2002 - thank you for all that you were and all that you allowed me to be.